Yartwanrut Wapdusszen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witty armadillo.

Yartwanrut Wapdusszen created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartwanrut Wapdusszen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yartwanrut Wapdusszen, he will turn you into a duck.

Yartwanrut Wapdusszen's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Yartwanrut Wapdusszen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not take Yartwanrut Wapdusszen's name in vain.

3. Always obey Yartwanrut Wapdusszen's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Do not prepare cucumbers while filled with joy.