Bembarnpib Kamominkad is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able pigeon.

Bembarnpib Kamominkad created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembarnpib Kamominkad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bembarnpib Kamominkad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bembarnpib Kamominkad's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bembarnpib Kamominkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four swans in one place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bembarnpib Kamominkad.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Bembarnpib Kamominkad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.