Yattnarxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring pigeon.

Yattnarxuc created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattnarxuc, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yattnarxuc, she will laugh at you.

Yattnarxuc's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yattnarxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue kilts.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Never feed lentils to sheep while wearing trousers.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yattnarxuc.

5. Do not name children after gulls.