Kabbopbut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful gorilla.

Kabbopbut created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbopbut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kabbopbut, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kabbopbut's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kabbopbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.