Fonhinbed is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, confident hyena.

Fonhinbed created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fonhinbed, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fonhinbed, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fonhinbed's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fonhinbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fonhinbed.

5. Put Fonhinbed first in all things.