Fardanjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, contented tortoise.

Fardanjen created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fardanjen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fardanjen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fardanjen's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fardanjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with orange.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Heed all signs.