Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, staggering goat.

Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Yarpyattrul Gedpanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Never paint your back turquoise.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

5. Never wear fawn stockings.