Jabtipsak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish unicorn.

Jabtipsak created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabtipsak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jabtipsak, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jabtipsak's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jabtipsak's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Always wash your hands before prayer.

3. Do not consume aubergines at dawn.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.