Queegarpbon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, able pig.

Queegarpbon created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegarpbon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegarpbon, she will send you a sign.

Queegarpbon's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Queegarpbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Queegarpbon.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never remain prostrate at midnight.