Vegtimort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humane deer.

Vegtimort created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegtimort, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vegtimort, he will come to you in dreams.

Vegtimort's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Vegtimort's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots on fasting days.

2. Vegtimort loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not prepare spinach while wearing scarves.

4. Vegtimort loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.