Fitlaptag is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid camel.

Fitlaptag created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Fitlaptag, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fitlaptag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fitlaptag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fitlaptag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Put Fitlaptag first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.