Wiktigbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring pig.

Wiktigbog created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wiktigbog, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wiktigbog, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wiktigbog's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Wiktigbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to eagles while wearing mauve trousers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Put Wiktigbog first in all things.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Wiktigbog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help sick seals.