Volgudbab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate monkey.

Volgudbab created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Volgudbab, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Volgudbab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Volgudbab's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Volgudbab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red cats, for they are unholy.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.