Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak dingo.

Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Talmitfun Stantonkhughig Sakwikjam.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in red.