Pagwighubsaspibsagbin is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, ruthless fish.

Pagwighubsaspibsagbin created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagwighubsaspibsagbin, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pagwighubsaspibsagbin, she will turn you into a mole.

Pagwighubsaspibsagbin's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Pagwighubsaspibsagbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near manatees while wearing purple scarves and balancing five nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.