Timvonweg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, astonishing warg.

Timvonweg created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timvonweg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timvonweg, he will remove you from existence.

Timvonweg's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Timvonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lemons to rats while wearing jumpers.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about bacteria.