Saffotgut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, boastful bear.

Saffotgut created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saffotgut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Saffotgut, it will think nothing of it.

Saffotgut's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Saffotgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing yellow kilts and balancing nine iron spheres on your chest.

4. Never allow doves to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.