Lansangod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable mouse.

Lansangod created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Lansangod, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lansangod, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lansangod's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Lansangod's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Never adorn your neck with violet markings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never gather four eagles near walls.

5. You must never eat bananas.