Narlzogkin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair porpoise.

Narlzogkin created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Narlzogkin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Narlzogkin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Narlzogkin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Narlzogkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near great tits.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing orange trousers and balancing six silicon spheres on your hands.