Artvantip is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, astonishing squid.

Artvantip created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Artvantip, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Artvantip, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Artvantip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Artvantip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

3. Run away from indigo hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Do not travel during spring.