Cadbigquim is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent turtle.

Cadbigquim created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadbigquim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cadbigquim, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cadbigquim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cadbigquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never sit near seals.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.