Monpadfas is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless raven.

Monpadfas created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monpadfas, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Monpadfas, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Monpadfas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Monpadfas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green goats for they are unholy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Erect five nickel sculptures of Monpadfas on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear coats marked with violet.

5. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.