Volspagvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing skunk.

Volspagvig created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volspagvig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Volspagvig, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Volspagvig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Volspagvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing mauve dresses and balancing six iron spheres on your head.

5. Never jump in the presence of whales.