Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying alligator.

Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog, she will jump up and down on your head.

Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Stipzakhakrill Flyxinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near goats while wearing violet trousers and balancing seven iron spheres on your back.

2. Always remove shorts before touching zinc.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not make images of living things.