Kippanmig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying fish.

Kippanmig created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kippanmig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kippanmig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kippanmig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kippanmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from lead.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Kippanmig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always help tapirs in need.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. You must love Kippanmig.