Dobstikster is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair badger.

Dobstikster created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Dobstikster, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dobstikster, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Dobstikster's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dobstikster's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing green shorts and balancing four zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Dobstikster on top of important buildings.

3. Dobstikster must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Never handle titanium while unclean.