Bapdadmet is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast walrus.

Bapdadmet created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapdadmet, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bapdadmet, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bapdadmet's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bapdadmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not gather at doors at dawn.