Quatgessmin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, emotional grasshopper.

Quatgessmin created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatgessmin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quatgessmin, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quatgessmin's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Quatgessmin's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Respect your elders.