Matbemlamlargwotpid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain whale.

Matbemlamlargwotpid created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matbemlamlargwotpid, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Matbemlamlargwotpid, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Matbemlamlargwotpid's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Matbemlamlargwotpid's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Matbemlamlargwotpid.

3. Do not prepare bread while filled with anger.

4. Matbemlamlargwotpid loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.