Sithiggudstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring unicorn.

Sithiggudstaf created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sithiggudstaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sithiggudstaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Sithiggudstaf's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sithiggudstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sithiggudstaf.

3. Never eat limes on days of mourning.

4. Retreat if five tortoises approach from the south.

5. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with eagles.