Butarpsiggun is a god.

He takes the form of a large, intelligent cow.

Butarpsiggun created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butarpsiggun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Butarpsiggun, he will be very sad.

Butarpsiggun's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Butarpsiggun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never remain standing at midday.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing turquoise shoes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.