Timquimmap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, cheerful slug.

Timquimmap created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Timquimmap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Timquimmap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Timquimmap's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Timquimmap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never paint your head brown.

5. Never think ill of sick whales.