Narmanzim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful dog.

Narmanzim created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narmanzim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Narmanzim, it will turn you into a worm.

Narmanzim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Narmanzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not keep nine aardvarks in a large pit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Always store nuts above ground.