Flapkimtig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast meerkat.

Flapkimtig created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapkimtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapkimtig, he will turn you into a tree.

Flapkimtig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flapkimtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never point your chest toward the south during prayer.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never record names.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.