Spagtitquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, grumpy crane.

Spagtitquag created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagtitquag, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Spagtitquag, she will turn you into a duck.

Spagtitquag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Spagtitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Do not prepare garlic while wearing shorts.

3. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.