Dubdutteen is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, moody fox.

Dubdutteen created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubdutteen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dubdutteen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dubdutteen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Dubdutteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

2. Never talk about optics near squirrels while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing five copper spheres on your neck.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.