Mitapphaswig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust troll.

Mitapphaswig created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mitapphaswig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitapphaswig, he will turn you into a dog.

Mitapphaswig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Mitapphaswig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas on days of mourning.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing turquoise rings and balancing six nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never hurt rats.