Nanhasven is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating guinea pig.

Nanhasven created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Nanhasven, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nanhasven, he will turn you into a dog.

Nanhasven's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Nanhasven's Holy Commandments

1. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with gulls.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Nanhasven in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.