Tailgatsit is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unfair bat.

Tailgatsit created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailgatsit, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailgatsit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tailgatsit's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tailgatsit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Tailgatsit on top of important buildings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Run away if four bats approach from the north.