Cimrenfetvencam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witty lobster.

Cimrenfetvencam created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimrenfetvencam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cimrenfetvencam, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cimrenfetvencam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cimrenfetvencam's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during winter.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.