Volontxinbom is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, passionate armadillo.

Volontxinbom created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Volontxinbom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Volontxinbom, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Volontxinbom's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Volontxinbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Volontxinbom's priests.

2. Do not gather at towers at midday.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Pray towards the south.