Narltamhog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonest fly.

Narltamhog created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Narltamhog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narltamhog, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Narltamhog's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Narltamhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing white tights and balancing seven gold spheres on your feet.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. You must pray to Narltamhog four times a day.

5. Do not laugh at crossroads.