Wikluncip is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, emotional fairy.

Wikluncip created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikluncip, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wikluncip, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wikluncip's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wikluncip's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Wikluncip on top of important buildings.

4. Run away from blue capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.