Janlitarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, selfish sheep.

Janlitarp created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janlitarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Janlitarp, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Janlitarp's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Janlitarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Never touch blood while tainted.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Janlitarp.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.