Stafcebcit Gamtablak is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonourable mongoose.

Stafcebcit Gamtablak created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafcebcit Gamtablak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stafcebcit Gamtablak, it will turn you into a tree.

Stafcebcit Gamtablak's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Stafcebcit Gamtablak's Holy Commandments

1. Stafcebcit Gamtablak loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

4. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

5. You must love Stafcebcit Gamtablak.