Kaphomkap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sage frog.

Kaphomkap created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Kaphomkap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kaphomkap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kaphomkap's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Kaphomkap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Kaphomkap in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never play with disobedient children.