Bonxucshavjip is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonourable shark.

Bonxucshavjip created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bonxucshavjip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonxucshavjip, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bonxucshavjip's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bonxucshavjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Bonxucshavjip on top of important buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.