Damkabtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy tortoise.

Damkabtetti created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Damkabtetti, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Damkabtetti, it will turn you into a duck.

Damkabtetti's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Damkabtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near snails while wearing fawn tights and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

2. Never feed garlic to goats while wearing yellow rings.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Damkabtetti on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing brown corsets and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not stand on grass.