Cumgephap is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, idiotic ferret.

Cumgephap created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumgephap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cumgephap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cumgephap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Cumgephap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to manatees while wearing black trousers.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Remain standing during prayer.