Nurlpigspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, impressive seal.

Nurlpigspag created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpigspag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nurlpigspag, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nurlpigspag's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Nurlpigspag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

3. Run away from gray turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.